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Wholly Genna

Lessons in food, fitness and self-love

BODY CONFIDENCE

Transformations

June 19, 2020 Comments : 7

Shrinking yourself:

I used to be obsessed with becoming smaller.

In my mind, every photo that I took was a ‘before’ photo. I couldn’t wait for the day where I could post a transformation photo, and ‘show them all’ how much I’d changed.

One of my friends was taking pictures of me and told me that I didn’t have sex appeal. Other friends would post photos of me, showcasing mainly my double chin. To them, this was a joke, they likely had no malicious intent. To me, this was just another unwelcome reminder that my body would never be good enough.

I tried to avoid photos. When I was in them, I tried to make a silly face, or hide myself behind others. I figured, if I made myself out to be silly, then no one could make fun of me for being anything else.

Hundreds of photos of me exist where my face is only half in them. Looking at that now, hurts.

The journey:

In 2018, I began a weightloss journey. I was miserable and uncomfortable. I was drinking too much, sleeping too little, and never taking care of myself. My body showed it. I was bloated all the time, I looked tired constantly, I was insecure, and it reflected in everything I did.

I convinced myself that if I lost weight, the rest would fix itself.

It didn’t.

I began to lose weight. I began to see those transformation photos I had desperately wanted. I still have them saved on my phone, and they were my pride and joy.

Yet, I wasn’t losing the weight like I wanted to. I was still binge drinking every week, I was still eating fast food, I was still miserable.

Dieting eventually consumed my every thought. I needed to become smaller. I needed that transformation and I needed it to be drastic.

You see, the crazy thing about dieting is, it doesn’t work. The diet industry is a multi-million dollar industry that preys on our insecurities. It draws us in, time and time again, tells us we need to be smaller, and that we’re failures if we don’t make that happen.

The diet industry offers us the promise of a transformative experience, but, at what cost?

I sacrificed my mental health many times, in order to make myself smaller. For myself and many others, constant dieting, led to a binge and restrict cycle.

I was actually dieting in this photo and barely eating, but you couldn’t tell. This was on vacation in Thailand with a friend, a vacation where I was too scared to eat carbs and ruin my ‘progress’. The bloating, digestive issues, and insecurity still remained.

For another year I kept up with this same lifestyle. Binge, restrict. Binge, restrict.

The Change:

Some major life events occurred for me in the middle to end of 2019 that sent me on the search for true wellness. I knew what I was doing wasn’t working. I knew I couldn’t stand dieting, and I knew I just wanted to feel a little bit more free.

I went to therapy. I unfollowed negative influences on instagram, and instead filled my feed with people who looked more like me.

Little by little, things started to transform.

By 2020, I was ready to say goodbye to diet culture. I realized I could eat good and whole foods, and still enjoy myself.

I stopped letting myself believe that all my problems could be solved by a drink, or a McDonald’s order and I faced them head on.

Finally, the transformation I had wanted all this time, began to occur.

I began to eat intuitively and gave my body what it needed, when it needed it. Much to my surprise, everything was okay. Unlike what I had previously believed, I did not fall apart without a diet. Working out became a celebration of me, not a desperate ploy to shrink my body, eating was fun again.

Remember this:

You are so much more than a ‘before’ photo and your value does not lie in your ability to transform into a smaller version of you. Transformation comes from more than just weight; it is spiritual, physical, emotional, and more. It is beautiful and ugly at the same time, and it will teach you invaluable life lessons.

Genna

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Comments

  1. Mirasey Isa says

    June 19, 2020 at 12:44 pm

    Reading through, i felt like its the same old transformation stories but damn!! You went thru a terrible phase which am sure most of us are relating to by now.
    This just made my day
    Routing for the mental wellness…thanks a lot

    Reply
    • whollygenna says

      June 19, 2020 at 12:57 pm

      This comment made my day! Thanks so much for reading

      Reply
  2. Jane says

    June 19, 2020 at 3:26 pm

    Again I feel some responsibility. You have come along way and you just need to believe in yourself and not rely on what others may think. Once you have that – more successes will follow!

    Reply
    • whollygenna says

      June 19, 2020 at 3:54 pm

      No need to feel responsibility, we all have our journeys. Thank you for the advice, I will do my best!

      Reply
  3. turkce izle says

    July 24, 2020 at 8:45 am

    Buen artículo! Gracias..

    Reply
  4. Marta Alano Marina says

    July 31, 2020 at 3:22 pm

    Merci pour le partage. Marta Alano Marina

    Reply
  5. Pamela says

    September 1, 2020 at 4:51 pm

    I have to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this blog.
    I really hope to view the same high-grade blog posts from you
    later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get
    my own, personal site now 😉

    Reply

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About me

I’m all about fostering a healthy and inclusive relationship with food and fitness, and sprinkling a little bit of self-love in there every now and again.

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whollygenna

It’s 2021!!! We’re done hating our bodies, ins It’s 2021!!! We’re done hating our bodies, instead we’re appreciating all the crazy shit they do 🤯

Reminder that your body is valid, and special and capable in its own wonderful ways!

Here’s a glute focused kettlebell workout I did last night 🥵 my butt is on FIRE today 😩

🍑4 rounds each, 8-15 reps🍑

🍑Sumo squats 
🍑Split squats (watch me struggle lol)
🍑RDL
🍑Single leg deadlift 
🍑Hip thrust 
🍑Russian swing (not posted)

Have a splendid Wednesday folks ✨

#gluteworkout #glutes #legday #legworkout #lowerbody #athomeworkout #athomefitness #quarantineworkout #noequipmentworkout #kettlebellworkout #kettlebelltraining #bodypositivemovement #bodypositivefitness #bodyneutrality #selflove #selfcare #selfgrowth #selfgrowthjourney #movementismedicine #movemoreathome #discoverunder5k #fitnessmotivation
One time someone posted a side profile photo of me One time someone posted a side profile photo of me and I was mortified to see how I looked from the side.

From then on, I avoided photos unless I was absolutely certain I could control how I would look in them.

A beautiful thing I learned this past year is that I don’t owe the world perfect. None of us do. We don’t have to have perfectly curated feeds that only show our best angles. We can be real sometimes too.

Today I could’ve shared a photo of myself looking snatched, but I opted instead to share a photo of what I look like the other 98% of the time.

Both are cool. Both are me. Both are valid.

#motivation #blackfitnessmotivation #fitnessmotivation #holistichealth #nondiet #nourishingfood #nondietapproach #blackgirlbloggers #girlblogger #lifestylebloggers #healthbloggers #healthbloggers #healthateverysize #youareamazing #youareabadass #discoverunder5k #happyandhealthy
Haven’t shared one of these on the feed in a whi Haven’t shared one of these on the feed in a while ✨

This year I’m focusing on taking care of my body more than ever before. This involves working on my eating and engaging in movement every day 🌞

Here’s some lil leggy movement that was out of this world 🌍 

👽banded deadlifts
👽goodmornings
👽banded lunges
👽lateral shuffles
👽kneeling squats 

My facial expressions in these videos are killing me 😭 I was putting in weeeerk.

#resistancebands #resistancebandsworkout #resistancebandworkout #legday #bootyworkout #gluteworkout #haes #fitnessforeverybody #athomeworkouts #quarantineworkout #fitnessjourney #fitfam #blackfitnesswomen #blackfitness #fitnesswomen
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